JUGGLING MULTIPLE BEDTIME ROUTINES

A couple years ago, pre sleep-consultant days, I literally posted on my personal Facebook page that bedtime by myself with a toddler and a nursing newborn was no joke.  Send help!

Trying to juggle two, three, or more bedtime routines can be absolutely stressful.  Trying to find fifteen minutes to breastfeed your newborn at the same time you’re trying to get your toddler out of the bath can drive you crazy. And toddlers…they just know that you’re in a position where you’re unable to chase them down and enforce the law! So today, I have some tips for all of you who have two or three balls in the air and are struggling to find a bedtime groove.

1. If you can, have one bedtime for all the kids in the house. A lot of parents I work with are surprised when I suggest that their 3 year-olds should be going to bed at 7:00 at night (assuming they don’t nap).Even at that age, kids still need between 10-12 hours of sleep a night.

2. Team up and switch off if you can. If you’re among the lucky ones who has a partner who’s home and available to help you get the kids to bed, put together a list of what needs to get done, split the tasks evenly, and then switch off every other night. That will prevent either of you from feeling like you’ve got the short end of the stick and it also gets your kids accustomed to either parent putting them to bed.

3. Find opportunities to multitask. Let the kids take a bath together, feed your newborn while you read your toddler a bedtime story,sing songs together while you change baby’s diaper, and so on. Wherever you can overlap, milk that opportunity for all it’s worth.

4. Meticulously craft and adhere to a 15-30 minute bedtime routine. Bedtime routines are absolutely vital to getting your kids sleeping through the night but they don’t need to last a long time. It’s not just a great way of keeping them on task, but it also serves as a signal to their brains and bodies that bedtime is approaching which stimulates melatonin production and dials things down internally to prepare for a good night’s sleep. A bath is a great place to start.

5. Save a special activity for bedtime. Typically it will be the older child who’s capable of entertaining themselves for a little while as you’re busy finishing up with your youngest. Come up with a non-screen-related activity that will keep your toddler entertained and quiet, and make it exclusive to that fifteen minutes or so that you need one-on-one time to put the baby down. Don’t make it too stimulating though.  A special coloring book is a great option.

6. Exploit child labor. Toddlers love structure and predictability, so giving them a helper position when you’re putting your younger child to bed is a great way to keep them occupied and give them a feeling of accomplishment just before they head to bed. Show them where the diapers are stored and have them bring you the goods as you’re getting your baby for bedtime.

7. Stick to your guns. Toddlers test boundaries,always. You might feel guilty now that you are splitting your time between them and a newborn, but changing or bending the rules is likely to upset them more,not less. Kids thrive on predictability and structure. If they suddenly get the feeling like the fences are down, they typically feel a little lost and that’s going to lead to more tantrums, not fewer. So keep the routine and the expectations as close as possible to the way they were before their sibling arrived.

8. No matter how bad it gets, don’t let your toddler watch Doc McStuffins right before bed. I know how quickly and effectively putting your child in front of the TV or handing them your phone can buy you a few minutes of peace and quiet, but screens are the ultimate sleep stealer. Because the entire time that they’re holding your child’s attention, they’re flooding their eyes with blue light. That blue light stimulates cortisol production and inhibits melatonin, so those fifteen minutes of peace and quiet could very easily cost you hours of trying to get your overtired child to settle down for the night.

9. Accept the fact that it’s not always going to go smoothly. These are young children we’re dealing with, so if things start to go off the rails a bit, don’t look at it as a failure. They’re going to have regressions, tough nights, and the occasional meltdown, but staying calm and level-headed is the best thing you can do to avoid escalating those situations.

10. Embrace the peace and quiet. Once you’ve got everyone in bed, take at least five or ten minutes to just let yourself unwind.Parenting is hard.  Pat yourself on the back for the task you just completed.

And as always, I'm here if you need to bring in reinforcements! Schedule a call with me from the home page and find out if working with me to get your child sleeping through the night would be the right solution for your family!